Iconitis; Are you at Risk?

The scourge of office personnel from Albuquerque to Zimbabwe, Iconitis has shown its awful face here in Indiana, again. Thousands have been infected, and it even spreads into the ranks of the IT professionals from time to time.

Iconitis causes the individual to lose the ability to operate any portion of a computer that does not have a corresponding icon. You know the fellow worker in your office that can not type a document on your computer, because there is no icon for Word on the desktop? Perhaps a book keeper that can not run Quickbooks when some one else logs on to her computer and forgets to log out?

I’ve seen many people so devastated by the disease that they can not log on to their own computer if their name doesn’t automatically appear in the username box. Can you imagine forgetting your own log in name? The poor thing…

Yes, it is true even the most savvy tech people have become infected from time to time. Just recently I had a senior bench technician ask me how to run a diagnostic on a hard drive. Now this may not sound too bad, but remember it is a senior technician that has been scanning hard drives from the same workbench for several years. The problem was that the software for scanning hard drives had an icon on the desktop that had been accidentally deleted by another technician. Now of course there was an icon in the “programs” menu, and you would expect a senior technician to also know how to find and run the original executable.

But that’s just how insidious this disease is, even the most experienced technician can fall prey. With the release of Office 2010 we have seen a marked increase in new cases reported on our tech support phone lines. We have heard reports of the disease spreading throughout the world as Windows 7 teams up with Office 2010 to move every icon and every menu to a new location.

Doctor Apu Nahasapeemapetilon of the CTDC (Center for Technical Disease Control) in Springfield, North Takoma, said “With this new software from Microsoft I will be not having much time for discussing with you the spread of this disease, my time will completely be taken with support phone calls from major OEM customers to my homeland. Thank you for your call very much.”

Dr. Nahasapeemapetilon

Keep an eye out for the symptoms of Iconitis. Recognizing the symptoms is critical to early detection, and early detection is critical to leading a normal productive life. Common symptoms include: staring at the screen blankly with ones hand lying limp in front of the keyboard, some victims will roll their heads around as if the icon will appear from a different viewing angle. Often you will hear the person speaking with the help desk and they will be saying something like “but it’s not there!” or “I can’t find the internet!”
This last statement will often come from a person in the advanced stages of the disease, where they actually “lose the internet” because they don’t have a big blue script “e” on their screen.

Treatment is available, in the form of Windows for Dummies books, and evening adult computer courses. But in the most extreme cases it may be necessary to show the victim the “Start” button on the task bar, and explain the purpose of all those little folder icons. Reintroduce the victim to the “Programs” menu and its icons slowly, as the reintroduction of icons too quickly can cause mental overload and possible breakdown.

For more information on Iconitis and other technical diseases, consult with your own personal Geek at 317-733-0213.